Necrotising Fasciitis

So there I am.... a month or so ago, I happen to notice that I have whacked my thumb on some unknown object, thus getting a tiny cut and little bruise at the edge of the nail. I figure, no big deal. i will just clean it up, put a band-aid on it, and go on my merry way. But nothing, and I do repeat nothing in my life can ever be so simple. A couple of days later, my thumb decides that the skin in that area is really just a luxury and begins to slough off said expendable epidermis. "Now that can't be good," I say to myself. But figure, ah, what the hell... it will heal eventually. Apparently not. I began to crack jokes that I had necrotising fasciitis, and that any day the thumb would just fall off. However, as time progressed, and the peeling of the skin, I realized maybe I should consider seeing my doctor. So I did. And you know what? I don't think she has a fucking clue what she's doing. I saw the "other" doctor in the office; the same one who, when I had a sinus infection, proceeded to treat me as though I had ebola. Needless to say, I didn't have particularly high hopes for her. Her astute opinion was that I had an infection in my thumb. Ahoy, Captain Obvious. Did I really just pay money for such a crackerjack diagnosis?

Lola Rides

So the incredibly uncoordinated, accident prone Lola decided she would get her motorcycle license, as a bike was given to her for her birthday. So Lola dutifully looked up a class that would not only teach her to ride, but exempt her from the Evil RMV's Road Test. What she did not realize is that August is a horrific month in which to be riding a bike at slow speeds, with long sleeves and long pants on. This is a lesson she will not need to learn again any time soon. As Lola progressed through the class, she discovered two things: she cannot physically multitask very well, as "counterweight turning" requires, and tight U-turns on a bike are her nemesis. So much so, in fact, that she failed to do it even remotely within the box during the practice. She actually wasn't even in the box more often than not. However, due to some final epiphany and urgent praying, she managed to nail that particular maneuver in the test, thus winning the approval not only of her instructor, but applause from the class as well. But, despite her trials and tribulations, Lola did in fact pass the test, and now is street legal. She is still as yet uncertain as to whether this is good, or bad for the rest of the people on the road.