Lola Reconciles

A while back, Lola was mistreated by a close friend. Now, Lola knows full well that he would never deliberately do anything to hurt her, but he had the misfortune to make a rather poor decision at an inopportune time. Consequently, Lola slipped from the semi-coherent side of reality, fell off the edge of reason, and landed face first in a molten rage that was disproportionate to the initial infraction. After taking some time to "cool off" Lola sent a strongly worded email to her friend... that was apparently a bit over the top. Lola decided to hold her ground until the friend contacted her in some way. Well, when he did, he was so full of guilt that Lola herself began to feel guilty. At long last, the two kindred friends reconciled, and Lola was so filled with joy that she wept openly. A lot. It would appear Lola is not as strong as she thought she was. But then again, who is?

Peaches

So I have a niece; she is my best friend's daughter, and I call her Peaches. Thankfully, my friend lives close enough that I can be a regular part of this child's life. She is only 9 months, but has an infectious giggle that can soften even the most curmudgeonly heart. Her blue eyes and smile light up a room. Today, Laura came over with Peaches, and another friend for a nice afternoon of chatting and knitting. Peaches and my dog are now the best of friends. I tell you, I could be having the shittiest day imaginable, but the second I see Peaches, and she sees me and smiles and giggles, I completely forget whatever it is that was troubling me. I love her now, and I can't wait to see the person she becomes. I am looking forward to many years of good times with Peaches and Dotte :)

Lola Fumes

Lola has returned from a nice, but less than relaxing vacation to discover that the entire planet has gone completely fucking sideways in her absence. Half of her students have disappeared off the face of her fall schedule, her printer decided TODAY would be a fabulous time to shit the bed and not allow her to complete paperwork for a new job, the adorable new puppy has taken it upon herself to remodel the doorways with her teeth, and the New England Patriots not only traded Richard Seymour to the Raiders (of all the good-for-nothing motherfu...), and they allowed Teddy Bruschi to retire. She's thinkin' maybe she should have stayed at the lake. Oh, and her thumb is still a wretched mess.

Necrotising Fasciitis

So there I am.... a month or so ago, I happen to notice that I have whacked my thumb on some unknown object, thus getting a tiny cut and little bruise at the edge of the nail. I figure, no big deal. i will just clean it up, put a band-aid on it, and go on my merry way. But nothing, and I do repeat nothing in my life can ever be so simple. A couple of days later, my thumb decides that the skin in that area is really just a luxury and begins to slough off said expendable epidermis. "Now that can't be good," I say to myself. But figure, ah, what the hell... it will heal eventually. Apparently not. I began to crack jokes that I had necrotising fasciitis, and that any day the thumb would just fall off. However, as time progressed, and the peeling of the skin, I realized maybe I should consider seeing my doctor. So I did. And you know what? I don't think she has a fucking clue what she's doing. I saw the "other" doctor in the office; the same one who, when I had a sinus infection, proceeded to treat me as though I had ebola. Needless to say, I didn't have particularly high hopes for her. Her astute opinion was that I had an infection in my thumb. Ahoy, Captain Obvious. Did I really just pay money for such a crackerjack diagnosis?

Lola Rides

So the incredibly uncoordinated, accident prone Lola decided she would get her motorcycle license, as a bike was given to her for her birthday. So Lola dutifully looked up a class that would not only teach her to ride, but exempt her from the Evil RMV's Road Test. What she did not realize is that August is a horrific month in which to be riding a bike at slow speeds, with long sleeves and long pants on. This is a lesson she will not need to learn again any time soon. As Lola progressed through the class, she discovered two things: she cannot physically multitask very well, as "counterweight turning" requires, and tight U-turns on a bike are her nemesis. So much so, in fact, that she failed to do it even remotely within the box during the practice. She actually wasn't even in the box more often than not. However, due to some final epiphany and urgent praying, she managed to nail that particular maneuver in the test, thus winning the approval not only of her instructor, but applause from the class as well. But, despite her trials and tribulations, Lola did in fact pass the test, and now is street legal. She is still as yet uncertain as to whether this is good, or bad for the rest of the people on the road.

I'll Have a Pint

This past March, I went to Ireland to celebrate St. Patrick's Day, and my friend Kellie's 30th birthday (coincidentally, the same day). This is a trip that had been almost two years in the making. The night before we left, Kellie informs me that she just realized her passport is expired. "Truly, she jests," I think to myself, only to hear her father ranting in the background about special appointments at the passport office in Boston. Well, needless to say, I flew to Ireland without her. She was, however, able to get a new passport and flight, and met up with our tour a few days later (up until she arrived, most of the people I had met thought she was my imaginary friend). But I digress.... What is the first thing I went to visit in Ireland? The Guinness Storehouse, of course! And I firmly believe, no matter what anyone says, Guinness IS different over there. The country is absolutely gorgeous; there is a reason why it is called the Emerald Isle. I spent entirely too much money, bought too much stuff, and had a fabulous time. On Kellie's birthday, I took her on a pub crawl in Killarney, and got her royally tossed (she even drunk-dialed her mother). I figure that's what good friends do; they get you completely wrecked in foreign countries. At least, that's what I hope my friends will do for me!

Lola Rising

Lola's life tends to be a bizarrely wrought tragicomedy. However, as her life as been significantly less than tragic and certainly not too comical as of late, she has been rather remiss in updating her blog. What a sad state of affairs it is when a Diva has not a thing to write about in a blog that very few people (besides herself, of course) read! That is something she will have to remedy.