La Primavera

This morning I have decided to be completely selfish and skip church in order to be one with Nature. That sounds far more earthy-crunchy than I had intended, but so be it. Today looks like it will be genuinely gorgeous, and this is such a fantastic time of year. New England is beginning the process of recovering from a brutal, bleak winter. We are past the point of Biblical downpours everyday, and the trees are starting to bud. People are having brush fires in their yard that remind me of my childhood, running around barefoot and playing "guns" with the neighborhood kids (back when it was ok to have a cap-gun). The last few days that have been nice, I have either been in the house teaching, or in bed due to my part-time night job. But this morning is mine. I am quite seriously thinking about parking my pale, Scottish arse on the back deck with a good book and a bottle of SPF 50.

Technological Whooligals

About a month and a half ago, I proudly stepped into the 21st century and purchased my first iPod Nano. It is so tiny I live in fear that I will either lose it or break it (I am prone to freakish accidents that often wreak havoc in my wake). To date, I have successfully managed to load about 150 songs onto said thingamajiggie. Of course, when I first loaded iTunes onto my non-Mac apparatus, it instantly sucked in all of the music and videos currently residing peacefully in my hard drive. This is all well and good, except for the fact that none of these items were in a compressed format (which sort of defeats the purpose of the iPod in the first place). I figured it would be easier to just delete it all out of iTunes, and put in only those things I really wanted (I mean, after all, do I really need the Brandenburg Concertos on my iPod?), and compress them as I imported them. In theory this was a fine idea, but in actuality it turned out to be an enormous clusterfuck. Now, in what I can only assume is some sort of passive-aggressive retaliation, iTunes refuses to allow me to import any music from the hard drive. This is exceptionally annoying, since every Beatles album in existence is on my computer, and I ended up loading them manually. Once, I had considered myself somewhat technologically proficient. I have since changed my views and wonder how I could have been quite so deluded in the first place.

The Chef Obsession Continues

And it is done. I have officially signed up to be a Pampered Chef Consultant! And, as it turns out, the kit had all sorts of things I do not currently own. There are several pros to this new venture, and very few cons. First, I am able to make some extra money. This is especially important, as in the summer I don't have nearly as many students, and I can only pick up but so many extra hours at my part time job. Second, it enables me to work within my own schedule, and get out and see people. But the most important reason is that it has renewed my love of cooking. For me, Kitchen Time is Therapy Time. If I am angry or upset, I cook as though preparing to feed an army. There is, perhaps, nothing finer than to beat the hell out of homemade pasta dough when one is feeling particularly homicidal (it fights back, you see). I have been known to talk people into things (sometimes good, sometimes less than good), so at least I am peddling something safe and fun to play with (well, the knives aren't really safe, but...).

Chefs Anonymous

So now, after having written a veritably depressing entry, I feel compelled to write something funny or uplifting. So here goes. I am grateful that I am currently gainfully employed, for this weekend my best friend is going to be hosting a Pampered Chef party. Normally, this would not be a cause for particular celebration, but for me it is as though Christmas has come early! My kitchen is a collection of gadgets and paraphernalia that Wolfgang Puck himself would envy. I have stoneware in several shapes and sizes; a little chopper thingamawhoozi that can chop veggies and nuts, and even has a little tray to hold them in. Not to mention the fancy platter thing that is reversible: one side is set up for a veggie platter, and the other for devilled egge. What makes this tray so nifty is the fact the central piece that lays along the bottom can go in the freezer, so that you may keep your eggs cold! Now ask me how frequently I make devilled eggs.... I think my next mission will be to acquire the entire stoneware set that Pampered Chef produces. I am almost tempted to become a consultant because for a nominal fee I can have just about everything they sell... then it occurred to me that I have already purchased most of those things. I am sure some sort of intervention or support group is in order. I do believe next I will move on to the knives!!!! They cut bone, you know.....

The Shizz Nazz

It would appear that my last entry was an ill omen. The adorable, often haphazard cat Ziggy met his untimely demise yesterday morning at the bumper of a speeding car. It is quite upsetting to be driving home from work, ready to go to sleep, only to find your cat in the road. Needless to say, I was (am) devastated. I find it interesting that we can become so completely attatched to, and dependent on our pets. The pain over losing an animal is (at least to me), often far more intense than losing a person. Granted, the ache is not as longlasting. After much crying (and two glasses of Scotch), I managed to get myself to go to sleep. Now I am at work, in the middle of the night, and not quite as hysterical as I was this morning. But it gives me a little pang to know that I will no longer be sharing my water with Zig, or that no feline will be waking me up in the middle of the night to come in through the bedroom window. The vet even asked me if I wanted to have him cremated and keep the ashes. It almost seems maudlin... the part of Ziggy that made him interesting has gone to some other where, and I see no reason to hang onto the shell that housed it. I think he has a much better place in my heart and memories than in an urn or in my backyard.

Friggin' Cats

My cat Ziggy is a wondrous little bundle of trouble. In personality, he closely resembles Bucky from the Get Fuzzy comic strip (although less violent). He cuddles up on my bed every night and keeps my toes warm, and purrs when no one is watching (I think he feels it is not macho to purr in the presence of others). He also has "cute" little quirks, like twanging the screen of my bedroom window at 4 AM when he is ready to come back inside. Or feeling compelled to drink out of my water glass, even if he has a fresh bowl of his own water. Anyhow, the poor thing is prone to urinary blockages, and I spent a fortune on him last month to keep him alive. I can only imagine how uncomfortable it is to not be able to pee. Anyhow, the same symptoms have arisen tonight, and now he is camped out at the vet's. Again. He has frequent flier miles there; he is only 6, and has had at least 9 rabies shots I can remember off the top of my head for getting into fights with unknown animals. I am hoping they will erect a plaque to my cat, as chief benefactor in the construction of the new wing at the vet's office. He can be a pain in the arse sometimes, but he's an adorable little fuzzball, and I think I would like to keep him around for a bit.

Words

Words are tricky little buggers. They can accommodate you to express fantastic ideas and feelings. But using them without care can cause harm, more often than not unintentionally. Tonight someone made an offhanded comment about a hardship she has had to endure. I have never had the misfortune to go through this particular travesty, and cannot even begin to comprehend what she has experienced. I know that her comment was not made in malice, and most likely she had no idea what she was saying (at least, I would sort of like to think so). At any rate, I took great offense to this offhanded remark, and decided to remove myself from the social situation entirely. For some reason, those words seemed to sum up several things for me, and I am certain she did not intend for me to take them as I did, but so be it: In a few words, she managed to (inadvertently) make me feel as though any suffering I have survived in my life cannot possibly compare to hers, and any loss I feel (or have felt) is inadequate. She has someone to take every step of that path with her; meanwhile, those of us who are hoofing it alone are left to feel that we have not measured up in some way; and by "we" I mean "me." Do we ever truly take into account the affect of the words we say to others? Words are tricky little buggers....

Football is Life

This evening, the Patriots suffered a devastating loss to the Giants in the Super Bowl. In the grand scheme of life, this is a ridiculously trivial matter. However, for me, it is cause to wear a mantel of mourning. As a die-hard football fan (Patriots, of course), I watch the game for several reasons. First, its just plain fun. Second, I like having something in my life that has absolutely nothing to do with music; it is my outlet, if you will. Third, its nice to give myself over to something where I must completely relinquish my need for control. After all, I am not Bill Bellichick, and I cannot direct or foresee the outcome of any game. But after tonight, I can honestly say that I have not felt this ill in ages. Its quite depressing to get your hopes pinned on a completely undefeated season, only to be let down in the last 35 seconds or so. But alas, it is done. Now, I feel I should be more devoted to the Red Sox in my 6 months of pining for the commencement of the next football season. After all, today just ends this season. Tomorrow opens the door for the next.

People are Strange

One of my favorite Doors songs; but entirely beside the point. In keeping with my New Year's theme, I am going to write about something new. Or rather, someone new. As I said, I have met some new and interesting people in the past year. Some that were truly interesting, and some who are interesting purely because they are disturbing or bizarre. In the past few months, I have met someone who falls into the former category. I find him interesting for several reasons. First, as a cynical and sarcastic person, I am usually on my guard when meeting new people. However, from my first meeting with him, I was (for once) completely at ease. I thoroughly enjoy the fact that I have met another human being around whom I do not feel I need to act or portray a certain persona. Second, he does not make my Psycho Radar run amok. As a general rule, people with deeply seeded issues or neuroses seem to flock to me. Not necessarily in a romantic sense, but at work, through students, etc. The nutters come to me as if I were their appointed Messiah of Lunacy. Third, the man can not only intelligently discuss the White Album, but understands the places of the Beatles, Pink Floyd, Sabbath and Led Zepplin in the evolution of rock. I have no idea where this will lead, but its nice to know that there are people out there who can renew my faith in humanity, remind me that I don't always have to be an assuming bitch, and bring to life a part of me I felt had been dormant for far too long.

Happy New Year!

Well, it is quite obvious that I have been rather remiss in writing in my blog as of late. However, this is one of my several New Year's resolutions: To frequently update the Saga of Lola. I figure that if I make more than one resolution, I am bound to keep at least one of them. Another year has come and gone... its almost impossible to fathom! So much has happened in the last 365 days! I have finished my master's, uprooted myself back to MA, been through some tough times with friends, rekindled old friendships, and met some new and wonderful people. It is amazing to see how one's perception of time changes as we get older. When I was younger, a year seemed an eternity. Waiting for the arrival of Christmas was a never-ending period of anticipation. Now I await Christmas with the trepidation of trying to make sure I have bought everything, baked all I need to, and still had time to try and enjoy the season as a whole. I used to remember every ringing in of the New Year; now I am lucky if I can remember the next morning! However, all things considered, it has been a wonderful year. I can only hope that the new one proves as exciting and unexpected.