3 A.M. And All is Well... And Boring

It seems that each night that I return to my part time job, the Computer Gods have set another strike against me. First, it was Myspace... although I didn't really give a shit about that because I don't have a Myspace account. Then it was Facebook, which royally irritated me. After all, who is goign to slay dragons and feed my zombies in the middle of the night, if not me?! But the coup d'etat came this evening. As a general rule, I will keep a web page open with my email, so that I can periodically view it, purely to see if any of my friends are awake in the wee hours of the morning to keep me entertained. However, while I can now log into the website, I can no longer click "get email" for that apparently goes against some newly laid down security law that I am beholden to obey. It would appear that these ridiculous people actually expect me to do legitimate work. Unbeknownst to my superiors, there is very little veritable work to be done at 3 A.M. So now what the hell am I going to do? Maybe I shall knit myself a noose.

Silly Trees

So I came dangerously close to winning myself a Darwin award today. There are trees in my yard that have decided to take over with their obnoxiously enormous limbs and leaves, thus blocking out sunlight and devastating my garden. I went to such great pains to start most of the plants by seed, and all that remains are a few piddly onions, and about 7 dwarfish tomatoes that refuse to turn red. But I digress... My father and I decided it was time to wage war on the trees. We first attacked the giant maple in the yard, that is dying a slow and painful death anyway. First, I got out the extension ladder.... only to discover that I was not able to "safely" place it in a spot where I could get to the limbs marked for death. After a few attempts, I realized it was hopeless. But oh no! I was not to be deterred. Like MacGyver, I came up with a new plan, involving some wire cord, a trowel, and brute force. I used the trowel as a weight, and swung said cord like a lasso to capture the moribund limbs, and then dad and I used brute force to yank the bastards from the tree. The most gratifying part is, it actually worked! There was one unfortunate moment, however, when the head of the trowel parted company with the handle mid swing... and went shooting off into the bushes like some sort of maniacal gardening missile, nearly decapitating my cat who was an innocent bystander at the time. However.... I still have some LIVE limbs in the yard that need surgical intervention... I think its time to call my brother in to do the grunt work.

Starry Night

As a general rule, Lola is not an overly romantic, sappy sort of woman. But every now and then, something happens that just takes her breath away. The last night of Lola's vacation on the lake was an exceptionally clear evening. And Lola was with an exceptional man, who had only rarely seen the stars with such little light pollution. So Lola and the man went for a walk to the dock. There, they lay down on the dock and gazed at the stars; something normally way too romantic for Lola, but this was nice. Anyhoo... the time came to go back to the campsite for a traditional marshmallow burning session, so Lola and the man prepared to leave. And right there, under the band of the Milky Way, the man kissed Lola! So simple, so sweet, and yet it took her breath away. By far, the most romantic kiss Lola has ever experienced.

Kinky Sex

For Labor Day Weekend, I decided to go to NH on Lake Winnipesaukee with friends. After a ridiculous stretch at work, I was in dire need of some lazy time, and thought my friend Rich was, too. So I dragged him up to the lake to basically spend 3 days doing nothing; turns out it was one of the better decisions I have made in quite a while. While at the lake, my best friend was rather curious about this guy I had brought along with me, and appropriately began a line of questioning. She, of course, asks innocuous questions, like "Where are you from? " and "What do you do?" Her father, on the other hand, must have thought she was taking the long way round, and chose a more direct approach. "So Rich, are you into kinky sex?" he says... Almost everyone at the table choked on their sandwiches... except for Rich, who replied without missing a beat with, "Yeah. Isn't everyone?" After we all recovered from the massive bout of hysterical laughter, I received a look of approval from my best friend. Which is good... it is quite awkward to date someone who is disliked by your closest friends.